Not with therapy.
Not with pressure.
Not by trying harder to “fix” the relationship.
It happened when I made one simple but powerful shift:
I stopped reacting to the problems…
…and started showing up in a way that changed how my spouse responded to me.
Because in most struggling marriages, the real issue isn’t a broken person - it’s a broken pattern.
And a pattern can be interrupted. Even by one person.
Eight years ago, my wife and I were full of resentment, tension, and emotional distance. We loved each other - but it didn’t feel like love anymore. Every conversation seemed to lead to blame, silence, or survival mode.
When she asked me to leave, I finally stopped trying to “fix” her… and started doing the one thing I could actually control: how I showed up.
That’s when everything changed.
Now?
We’re more connected, more attracted to each other, and laughing more than we ever have - even with four little kids. Our arguments are rare. Our home is calm. And our marriage is the strongest it’s ever been.
Not because she suddenly changed… but because I did.
This is what I teach my clients - and exactly what you’ll find in It Starts With You: